Sh*t kids say

1957 edition illustrated by Charles Schulz

There are probably about a million billion schmillion pages on the web dedicated to the weird, funny, and often inappropriate things kids say. So, dammit, I wanted to have one of them. And not just because I didn’t want to be left out, but because I really have heard some doosies in my time, and haven’t I promised to share what I know?

They say wisdom comes from the mouths of babes (see also: ‘women’s intuition’  ….. hmmmm does that mean good looking women’s intuition is exceptionally accurate?) so perhaps we should pay close attention to these insightful gems –

2 year old girl bemoans:

“I have way too many babies to take care of, because I have eight. And that, [wagging finger at me] is toooooooo many.”

4 year old boy informs me:

“I don’t think I will ever want to have sex. [“Why not?”] Because it really is true that the penis goes into the vagina.”

3 year old boy asks:

“What’s your name? [“Brigid”] It doesn’t really matter if I forget because I can just talk to you without saying your name and no one will notice.”

6 year old boy agrees:

“It’s true when they say you wouldn’t steal a car but you would steal a movie [referring to illegal download ads]. [“They are actually trying to say you shouldn’t do either”] Well they’re barking up the wrong tree, then.”

4 year old girl consoles me:

“30 is a lot older than 4, but you might not be too old yet.”

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Share some of the sh*t you’ve heard kids say!

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You might also like:

“Knock Knock”

Jess’ Rants: Kids Say the Weirdest Sh*t

Most Kids Curse Before They Learn the Alphabet

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Filed under General, Just for Fun, Weird and Wonderful

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