Have you heard of this book? It’s been around a while now and was hugely successful when it was released in 2011. But, in case you’ve missed it I really think you should take a look and I think you’ll enjoy it.
After trying, unsuccessfully to get his 2 year old to sleep for several hours, previously unpublished author Adam Mansbach facebooked that he would write a book called ‘Go the F*** to Sleep.’ At the encouragement of his friends he decided to actually write it; a picture book for adults that verbalises the internal frustration you can feel while helping a wakeful child to settle.
When he was very little my brother invented a joke. It went like this:
“What’s the difference between a hotdog and sausage?”
He could barely contain his own mirth as he proudly delivered the punchline, “You put a hotdog in a roll!”
Kids really do say the darndest things (is that an inside joke that only I get?), especially when they’re trying to wrap their heads around the notion of creating a joke. I always assume that genuinely funny people are also tremendously intelligent. It’s a complicated and sophisticated thought process that produces true wit. I swoon for a funny man in an instant, presuming he also will engage in mind-blowing rhetoric with me (and ideally cook well and indulge my love of stationary).
When kids, with their still unfinished brains whirring madly away, attempt to invent jokes, they come out like word Picassos; not quite what they’re meant to be, yet all the more fabulous for it. Continue reading →
I like to play a game, with myself or anyone I can convince to join me. Now, get your minds out of the gutter! It’s a game about baby names. Or rather, the baby names a celebrity might use.
Once you get started it’s hard not to see examples everywhere. You know the kind I mean. Names that are meant to sound unique and imply a certain idiosyncratic eccentricity in the parents; Apple, Blanket, Sunday… Presumably we’re meant to add baby naming to the list of ways we can never hope to compare to the celebrity; never understand what it’s like to be them, mere mortals that we are.
Yep. Not what you want to have to tell the parents of the 4 month old in your care on your first day as their nanny.
Now, before I tell you the whole horrifying story, you can relax your Macaulay Culkin style stance of shock. Let me assuage your fears. I am fine, no psychological damage at all. Thank you for your concern, I’m truly touched 😉 And the baby, well he’s just fine as well.
In fact, he was fine the whole time. But – I did, I must admit, accidentally lock 4 month old M in his room, alone, on my first day as his nanny.
To be fair, all I did was shut the door. I didn’t actually lock it. I’d put him to sleep, smugly satisfied I’d passed the first test of the day by settling him easily and swiftly. He was tucked firmly into his cot, flat on his back, arms spread above his head and hands clenched in a peaceful sleepy double fist pump (“yes! I am going to rock this nap!”). I shut the door and went about my business.