Tag Archives: Kids

April 26, 2013 · 10:00 am

Sh*t kids say

1957 edition illustrated by Charles Schulz

There are probably about a million billion schmillion pages on the web dedicated to the weird, funny, and often inappropriate things kids say. So, dammit, I wanted to have one of them. And not just because I didn’t want to be left out, but because I really have heard some doosies in my time, and haven’t I promised to share what I know?

They say wisdom comes from the mouths of babes (see also: ‘women’s intuition’  ….. hmmmm does that mean good looking women’s intuition is exceptionally accurate?) so perhaps we should pay close attention to these insightful gems – Continue reading →

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January 3, 2013 · 4:08 pm

New Years Resolutions with Kids

kid to do list, list, Be happy and go home

You can make news years resolutions for yourself (I resolve to take fewer bites of the kids meals and stop pretending those calories don’t count) and you can make some for your children (I resolve to take my kids to park every week), but don’t forget you can make new years resolutions with your children.

Set aside time to work out some resolutions together

Sit down with your kids and have a chat about what it means to make a New Year’s resolution and share some of your own from this year or the past. Encourage children to begin thinking about the general things they and others might set as resolution. Continue reading →

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December 11, 2012 · 1:04 pm

Santa Baby

Santa and crying baby

Glad you went to see Santa?

Some years I take the babies and children I work with to see Santa.

I love it. They look so cute, the older ones get so excited and nervous; they infect me with Xmassy good feelings.

I’m a sucker for Christmas anyway, so it’s not hard to get my good-cheer-meter rising and since I love being with the babies and kids, putting the two together makes my day. If I got to also eat a too-big bowl of pasta while watching TV in my pyjamas at the end that day, I’d pretty much be in heaven.

I don’t have children (yet, I hope!) but I just assume I’ll love taking them to see Santa. I assume that I would jealously preside over such events, fighting off those who’d take on the task as though I were protecting my magical goose that lays golden eggs while writing pithy articles, curing cancer and inventing perpetual motion machines. Continue reading →

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December 4, 2012 · 10:34 am

“Knock Knock”……..

When he was very little my brother invented a joke. It went like this:

“What’s the difference between a hotdog and sausage?”

He could barely contain his own mirth as he proudly delivered the punchline, “You put a hotdog in a roll!”

Kids really do say the darndest things (is that an inside joke that only I get?), especially when they’re trying to wrap their heads around the notion of creating a joke. I always assume that genuinely funny people are also tremendously intelligent. It’s a complicated and sophisticated thought process that produces true wit. I swoon for a funny man in an instant, presuming he also will engage in mind-blowing rhetoric with me (and ideally cook well and indulge my love of stationary).

When kids, with their still unfinished brains whirring madly away, attempt to invent jokes, they come out like word Picassos; not quite what they’re meant to be, yet all the more fabulous for it. Continue reading →

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