Ever seen one of those nappy bags that looks like it’s holding the necessities for an entire childcare centre?
What about a parent without a nappy bag, desperately trying to calm a child bleating for food or needing a change?
It can seem so hard to get the balance right. I hate carrying around a giant bag supplied with enough nappies to last a week and fourteen changes of clothes. But, I’ve also gone out with a carefree swagger, only to end up tearing my hair out later when all the pram yields is a few dried out baby wipes and an already dirty bib.
There are two ways I prefer to approach the nappy bag dilemma
Carry a store of emergency items in a not overly big bag
And know where and how to buy the essentials if caught out.
The basic kit can be added to when you go out and have a clear plan of what you’re doing. But this pared down version will get you by; for the times you planned to be home and yet find yourself out with a hungry, wet, cranky baby. Continue reading →
Christmas day can be exhausting and stressful when you’re single and thought you had little more to worry about than how many bottles of champagne you’d need to supply your boozy relatives, and how to fake a smile when you’re given the same book you’ve already read by the fourth well-meaning aunt. But, when you have small children in tow it can all suddenly seem very overwhelming, threatening to take the shine off the whole day.
Relax! Christmas is meant to be fun remember? 🙂 So here are some of top tips for keeping the fun a priority and the tension at bay.
Safeguard the Christmas tree
I’ve heard and seen suggestions about avoiding trees altogether or putting a small one up out of reach on a table, but if you want the big traditional tree surrounded by presents you don’t have forgo it, even with small children who pull and climb and destroy. It’s a small investment but one I think is worth it; a wooden playpen. Most these days are a series of sections designed to create the shape that suits you, so you can arrange it around you tree or cordon off a section of a room. It’s great after Christmas as well as a safe place for young children to play when you have a shower, or cook, or climb onto the roof, or whatever you need to do where you can’t watch the kids.
Give your children plenty of notice – Xmas is coming!
This serves the double purpose of building excitement (which is worth the crazy that comes with it, surely? We want them to be excited about Christmas, right?!) and making sure they aren’t taken unawares when there are big changes to their routine. Children thrive on routines and predictability in their lives so when there will be a lot of people and changes to their day, talk about it often in the lead up to Christmas. Talk about what will happen, who they’ll spend the day with, and what your expectations of them are (don’t have too many expectations!).
Rest up!
Give yourself and your children a chance to rest before the big day. Easier said than done I know, but if you usually go to baby and toddler classes, the park, the shops, cafes, to see friends, etc etc etc, cross them off your to-do list wherever possible in the few days before Christmas. For one thing you’ll probably realise you have more to do at home than you thought (I always have that last minute moment where it occurs to me I allowed 20 minutes for something that clearly takes four and half hours), but mainly it’s just a chance to be quiet before the hubbub of Christmas. Be your calmest self and encourage your children to have a good back log of rest and sleep to draw on when they inevitably become over-stimulated and-overtired on the big day.
Delegate. Delegate. Delegate.
I hate to let others do things I’m pretty sure I can do better. I really struggle to let anyone help me. Ever. But it really is the mark of good manager, at the office or at home, to be able to apportion jobs out to others, willing or not (!), to ensure the whole day runs smoothly. Even if you’re Supermanning and Domestic Goddessing all over the place, you can get adults and older children to do a dozen small jobs that will free you up, and children of about 3 years to 8 years often enjoy being given responsibility (younger than this they’re not really up to it and any older and they’ve cottoned on to the fact you’re making them work and calling it fun, Tom Sawyer style). If you’re less busy you can deal with small mishaps and will be less stressed if called upon to deal with big mishaps.
… and biscuits and chocolate and lollies and pies and turkey and stuffing and bread and the piece of fluff they found under the couch and ice cream and sausages and whatever they want. There is absolutely no way on earth that a single day of over-the-top unhealthy eating could do lasting damage, not realistically. Even if you usually prefer your children to be pagans of virtue in their eating habits, and even if you succeed (a much trickier prospect), just turn a blind eye today.
Giving ground here means you don’t need to watch what they’re eating, since they can eat anything they want, giving you more time to deal with other things. Christmas is meant to be extravagant; we all eat and drink and buy too much, why should children be left out? It’s a day to look forward to all year and being a day of eating free-for-all can help you set limits the rest of the time (of course you can’t eat that, what do you think this is, Christmas?!!! 😉 ) You might be surprised to find that when given free licence they don’t eat as much or as poorly as you’d expect and even if they try, they couldn’t possibly outweigh the good eating you share the rest of the year.
Be Flexible!
This is the most important of all. Prepare yourself and the children, rest up beforehand, be clear about expectations and avoid unnecessary conflict, loosen the reins a little (get it, reins, like for the reindeer??? ahhhh….lol ), but if (when?) it all goes to hell in a handbasket, try try try to go with the flow. I believe routine is the key to happy children, but the routine is already out the window so don’t stress if you can’t get a baby’s nap in when you think you should, or didn’t feed the kids when they’d usually eat, or forgot to plan for the extra children that arrive with those aunts who keep giving you books you read last year. Naps can be moved, skipped, or happen in someone’s lap, children can share a bed, meals can be anytime (the kids are stuffing themselves on chocolate and couch fluff remember?), and TV can be a blessed babysitter.
This is a day for fun, family, friends, loved ones sharing a special day and creating memories. It’s a big day that throws the usual schedule in chaos and you should be realistic about the impact on small children. They will probably swing wildly between excited and happy, and grumpy and sleepy. Make it as easy on them and yourself and everyone as possible and take the easy route where possible feeling utterly GUILT free! This is a free day, it has nothing to do with normal routines and plans and goals and expectations. Your only goal today is to enjoy yourself and your family, and for them to feel the same way.
Some years I take the babies and children I work with to see Santa.
I love it. They look so cute, the older ones get so excited and nervous; they infect me with Xmassy good feelings.
I’m a sucker for Christmas anyway, so it’s not hard to get my good-cheer-meter rising and since I love being with the babies and kids, putting the two together makes my day. If I got to also eat a too-big bowl of pasta while watching TV in my pyjamas at the end that day, I’d pretty much be in heaven.
I don’t have children (yet, I hope!) but I just assume I’ll love taking them to see Santa. I assume that I would jealously preside over such events, fighting off those who’d take on the task as though I were protecting my magical goose that lays golden eggs while writing pithy articles, curing cancer and inventing perpetual motion machines. Continue reading →
Maybe this should be #1. Or maybe this highlights that this list is not necessarily in order. Because I really don’t want you to underestimate how very much I mean it when I say – You do Not need Cot Bumpers.
#3 Baby item you absolutely do not need: cot bumpers. In fact…. Please Do Not buy cot bumpers.
A cot bumper is padding that runs around the inside of a cot, supposedly to protect the baby from banging their head on the hard sides or getting any part of their body caught between the bars. But cot bumpers have been associated with SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), strangulation, and suffocation, and can be very dangerous for your baby.
I can feel myself getting slightly stressed just writing about it. I began this list, this blog, and my consultation service largely because there are so many aspects of babycare that are confusing for parents and families. And no wonder, when there are things marketed to you as helping to keep your baby safe that are widely agreed to potentially lead to their death!! It’s incredible that things like cot bumpers are even allowed to be sold. If I could rip every cot bumper I see off the shelves, I would (maybe I should?). But, since the causes of SIDS are still yet to be fully understood, I suppose it’s not clear enough to ban them – though there are many advisories against them from health bodies around the world*. Continue reading →
Most little girl things in stores are pink. Boy things are usually blue. These days, most families I know say  they don’t want to force their children into gender roles. When you’re shopping for your baby it can be hard to avoid gender stereotyping, though. Stores overflow with pink gingham dresses and blue shirts, blue trains and pink baby dolls.
So what are your options?
Many people dress babies in the stereotypical colours so others know what gender they are. Until you’ve been out with a baby girl dressed in blue and told a dozen times your little boy is cute you probably underestimate how much you’d like people to know that your girl is a girl. I think it’s something to do with wanting your baby to be more than just another blob. Instead of having just one more squawking bundle of indeterminate gender and debatable merits, you want this baby to be a Person. When someone peeks into the pram and says your girl is a cute girl, she seems to be asserting her Self just a little bit more than if she’s only identifiable as a human, and no more. Continue reading →
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